


Tourtiere and Apple Pie

by rhubarbpie



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Quebecois food, jersey wearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhubarbpie/pseuds/rhubarbpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>several times someone thought Jack and Bitty were dating, and one time they actually were. Involves wearing of jerseys, tweets, Quebecois food, and clueless boys.</p>
<p>this will (I swear!) be done soon and I'll keep updating the tags, etc until I'm finished.</p>
<p>UPDATE 1/2016: I'm still working on this, but I honestly don't know when the next update will be- hopefully it's soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tourtiere and Apple Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inwaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inwaves/gifts).



> This should have been posted 9 days ago, but a conspiracy of life intervened. I'm kind of a failure at being a grown-up sometimes.
> 
> I have all the plot done, but not everything is postable yet; I'm posting what is postable right now because seriously, 9 days late.
> 
>  
> 
> the text conversation is based off texts that Bitty tweeted about [here](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/534065482950004736),[here](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/534065540143534081),[here](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/534065883917066240), and [here](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/534065883917066240).  
> OK, I'll shut up now.
> 
> Anyways, KoriMichele/inwaves, I hope you like your present-in-progress!

**Random Newspaper Girl ** [  
](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2468420)

It isn’t really Holster’s fault that Gatorade ends up all over Bitty’s jersey ten minutes before practice, except it really is. In fact, the gray jersey has no chance of ending up anything but Yale blue once Holster careens into the locker room and up-ends both Bitty and Bitty’s pre-practice bottle of sugary hydration.

“Holster! What the HELL was that? Now I have Gatorade all over my jersey!” Bitty squeals.

“Sorry bro,” Holster says through a grimace. “Rans printed out a picture of a tarantula and he’s been chasing me with it all day. “

“Seriously?” Bitty wants to know. “Did you piss him off? Because we ALL know how much you like spiders.” Honestly, even the FROGS knew that it was Bitty who killed tiny spiders terrorizing the defenseman.

Holster’s apologies continue, the younger boy’s request for an extra jersey ignored until Shitty gets involved.

“DOES ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA PRACTICE JERSEY?” Shitty bellows after launching himself into the middle of the locker room. The ‘no’s came from every mouth except one.

“Here, use my extra,” offers Jack. “And Ransom, NO MORE SPIDERS IN THE LOCKER ROOM.”

_Of course_ it’s Jack. Having an extra jersey actually in the locker room is probably one of those “captains are magical and always know what to do” things, or maybe something he’s learned from Bad Bob.

Bitty pulls on the “Zimmermann 1” jersey, takes a second to thank Jack and promise to wash the jersey before returning it as he ignores Ransom’s sputtering in the background (“but Jack, he stole my beer at the last kegger! That’s not best bro--” “I DON’T CARE RANSOM NO MORE SPIDERS. At least not in the locker room and not right before practice!”).

Bitty totally forgets the incident until a rando recognizes Jack and asks for an interview.

 

**[Eric Bittle @omgcheckplease](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease) · [Sep 30](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/517107686660648960)**

**Studying @ Kotter with Jack and R &H. This teeny tiny freshman-looking girl keeps walking past our table and glancing at us**

**[Eric Bittle @omgcheckplease](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease) · [Sep 30](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/517108100441333760)**

**This poor thing. She's standing at the cafe and keeps looking at her phone and then back at us. Maybe she wants Jack's autograph?**

**[Eric Bittle @omgcheckplease](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease) · [Sep 30](https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/517108885480804352)**

**She just walked up to Jack and asked: "Are you um. Are you Jack Zimmermann?" Ooooooh she's with the Daily. Live tweet-worthy.**

 

Once Random Newspaper Girl finishes interviewing Jack, she moves on to interview other team members. When she’s sitting down with Bitty, she’s surprisingly well informed.

“So I watched one of your practices, and you were wearing Jack’s jersey,” Random Newspaper Girl starts. “Does that happen often?”

“Huh?” Bitty starts in his seat before answering. “Ohhh…no, that was just because I borrowed it after Holster-wait, Adam, that’s his real name-spilled Gatorade all over my jersey and Jack lent his extra to me for the day. He’s a nice Canadian guy like that.” Bitty recounts the story, spiders, beer theft, and all.

“Sounds like a fun morning. And you said he does extra practice with you in the morning? That’s going A and B the C of D.”

Bitty moves his textbooks around and sinks back in his chair before he replies. “Yeah, we work on checking. I’m not a fan of being slammed into the boards that early in the morning, but I’m better than I used to be. Jack’s helped a LOT, and sometimes we have fun! It’s really the only time he tolerates me singing Beyonce and teasing him about his awful music taste.”

“Does anyone else join you?” Random Newspaper Girl wants to know as she scribbles notes.

“Nah, they’re all asleep, bless their lazy hearts. And they don’t need to work on checking nearly as much as I do. Figure skaters only hit the boards when they screw up.”

The mention of figure skating piques the interviewer’s interest, but Kotter is about to close and she closes her notebook. “Thanks! Oh, off the record, you two make a really cute couple. Like, puppies-and-kittens adorable.”

Bitty turns redder than some of the apples he uses in pies. “We’re not dating, just friends and teammates! Jack goes out of his way to help everyone, that’s why he’s a great captain.”

“No, really, you guys totally looked like a nauseatingly cute couple,” Random Newspaper Girl exclaims. “As in, cavity-inducing cute!”

A VERY flustered Bitty replies “but we’re not!”

 

**Lardo & Shitty **

It’s Lardo’s turn to choose the movie for “Lardo and Shitty get stoned and watch a movie and this is totally not a date we’re really just good bros” night, and she knows just which movie she wants. The Monuments Men- it’s got art, philosophy, and is also just Hollywood-movie-enough to be enjoyable baked. The problem: where the hell is the DVD?

As she heads downstairs to the main room, sounds of a hockey game get louder the closer she gets to the bottom of the flight. Surprisingly, there’s a distinct lack of chirping, only a couple low voices discussing missed shot opportunities, power-play and penalty kill strategies, and asking for popcorn. Lardo can’t remember the last time anyone on the team watched a game without chirping.

The Monuments Men DVD is in a pile on a shelf in the TV room. Glancing at the TV and sofa as she heads for the shelf, Lardo sees that it’s a game at the United Center-the Habs are visiting the Blackhawks. Considering Jack and Bitty are the ones watching, the calm atmosphere of the room confuses the manager even more until she notices they’re curled together.

Shaking off the weird vibes, Lardo heads back to Shitty’s room. “That was odd,” she announces as she walks through the doorway. “Bitty wasn’t even tweeting.”

Shitty looks up from digging out his stash. “What was odd?”

“Jack and Bitty are watching a game and they aren’t yelling at the TV. And it’s Montreal at Chicago.”

“Huh. Last time Jack was quiet during a Habs game was when he was dating that one guy. Wait, Bits wasn’t tweeting? Bro, that sounds like a date without leaving the Haus. So what’s the movie tonight?”

Despite the weed and movie, Shitty’s words stay with Lardo for the next few days.

 

***IN PROGRESS***

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me (rather sporadically) on [tumblr](hannza-pie.tumblr.com).
> 
> MAJOR THANKS to twitcrew.


End file.
